Responding to Change

 

Some days are harder than others.  Some days life comes at you like a freight train that cannot stop no matter what you pull out of your bag of tricks.  Other days are good, but they seem few and far between.  How I act or react to what is thrown my way will determine my attitude, it will make others develop an opinion about me whether good or bad, and it will affect my quality of life possibly for a long time.

Up until the end of last school year my nine to five work place was amazing.  I really enjoyed coming to work.  It was time that I enjoyed and truly felt my calling.  It is also a place where I have developed lifetime friendships and really found more of a home than a workplace.  It is not stressful and comes with a lot of time off.  It is a division, where, when people get into it, they never leave.

Fast forward to the end of last year.  We have become expendable.  When there is a shortage elsewhere, we are pulled from our assignment and forced to fill in spots in other places.  Our time off that we have earned is overlooked for the sake of manpower.  Our time off is dwindling each year as this past summer it was more of the same.  And now, they have cut out the much of the opportunity to earn paid time off, which is much of the attraction for this division.  In a time where so many places are hiring, I see it constantly and hear about it consistently... workplaces are getting harder to work for, benefits are changing and morale is at an all-time low.  So should I stay or should I go?

I don't want to be that person that hops around from job to job.  It still is a family where I am and I truly do not want to lose that.  There are so many aspects that I still love and always will.  My team is one of the best, if not the best, in the whole department.  My location is the best in the team.  I am in a great spot.  I am just flustered by this change, and typically I respond to change well.  But this is not change like in the seasons, or change in the oil to make it new and better.  This is change that negatively affects my life, my attitudes and my mental capacity.  It is a change that is made by those who sit in their offices upstairs and have no idea what or how we do our jobs.  Nor do they care as their only goal in life is to meet budget, no matter who they gain or lose or the morale that comes as a result.

You can tell my angst in my writing.  This is difficult for me.  I am truly trying to get through this as a help to my immediate supervisor instead of being pulled into the Debbie Downer group.  I am truly trying to act with positivity instead of reacting with negativity.  It is hard and overwhelming.  It is draining on the soul and spirit, yet how I act and react could adversely affect the way upper management looks at me the rest of my career.  I need to think on this.  I need to speak to others.  I need guidance.  I need to calm down.  It is good I realize this.  It is good that I am in a state of mind where I am thinking before I speak, but then again, I have not been given an opportunity to speak.

It is coming.  My response to change is a choice I can make myself.  How I deal with it is my choice.  I can act or react.  I am taking the steps now to figure things out and deal with it.  It is not going to be easy.  Maybe they will get better and change again.  You never know.  You can only hope for better.  You can only hope.